image with text stories we tell ourselves shape who we are
The stories we tell about ourselves shape our lives.

For those of us in our forties, clinging to outdated stories can prevent us from discovering who we are now and what we want.

One of the things I love about my job is I get to do things for my business that are exactly what I want to do for me. Self-care is part of the job for a coach. Last week I went on a shopping trip with a Personal Stylist in preparation for the photo shoot for my website.

My outdated story: ‘Blue is not my colour’

I have always resisted buying things in bright blue. I was convinced that it didn’t suit me.

Gwen, my stylist, was quite firm on the fact that I buy a bright blue top for my photo shoot. I agreed, but in my mind I thought, ‘we will never use this, it is really not my colour’. I showed my friend and she agreed with my stylist that it looked awesome on me.

I couldn’t see what they were talking about.

But I took the blue top along to the shoot, despite my reservations.

Of the three outfits I brought along, my photographer, Zahrina, thought the blue one was the ‘wow piece’.

I still couldn’t see it.

But I have learned that in order to grow beyond my comfort zone it is a good idea to take professional advice. I had a professional stylist and photographer tell me blue is a great colour on me, so I wore it for the shoot.

But as I looked in the mirror, I still couldn’t see what they were seeing. When I got home I hung it in my wardrobe next to the ‘things I will never wear again’.

Changing the story: ‘Blue is my colour!’

Yesterday I received my photos back from Zahrina.

I thought all the photos were beautiful. But when I first saw one of me in the blue top, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. It was like looking at myself through different eyes. The blue made my eyes pop.

Suddenly I could see what everyone else was seeing: blue looked amazing on me. I had pushed past my old feeling about blue and could now see things in a different light.

Moving beyond your old stories and beliefs

My job as a coach is to help people see where their old beliefs and stories are getting in the way and preventing them from creating the life they truly desire. It was good to be reminded that sometimes old beliefs can be really strong and hard to let go of. I was so convinced that blue was not my colour, that I couldn’t see past this assumption.

By letting go and seeing a new possibility, I can see I was wrong. Maybe blue didn’t suit me when I was younger; I was a different person back then. It is the same when I work with clients. Clients often have an outdated story or belief system that prevents them from finding out who they are and what they would like their life to look like in their forties.

Do you know what old stories you still believe are the truth? Is it time for an update on the stories you are telling yourself?

Until next week,