purple background with a quote about ageingA client asked me the other day, ‘What is so great about ageing anyway? I can’t see any benefits’.

As you can imagine, she may have been a little cross at the ageing process.

I responded with: ‘In my twenties, I was so busy wondering who I was supposed to be and how people were perceiving me, I didn’t have time to work out who I was. In my forties, I am so busy being who I am, I don’t have time to worry about how people are perceiving me’.

Expectations of who you ‘should’ be

We all have expectations of who we ‘should’ be thrust upon us.

Both my parents are excellent and enthusiastic gardeners. It was talked about as a right of passage into adulthood. When I told my mum that I hated gardening, I was told that I would get over it, that this infliction would pass. Well it didn’t pass.

I am lucky to have a big garden at the front and back of my house. I live near the city, so I know not everyone is this lucky. I have lived in my house for two and half years. In that time I have waited to be excited about gardening.

Well finally it happened. I am excited! I’m excited about hiring a gardener. I have enjoyed every aspect of it: the Google search, the planning, and the day.
This in not my first home with a garden. In fact it is my tenth. Ten beautiful gardens just waiting for me to fall in love with gardening them. It took me less than half a minute to love looking for a gardener – not quite what my parents expected.

Letting go of the ‘shoulds’

heart composed of hand drawn flowers and butterflies with a quote about judgmentOne of the reasons I love ageing is because I find it easy to let go of all the things I thought I ‘should’ want and be. Don’t get me started on what I feel about the word ‘should’! I am comfortable enough with myself to not only accept but appreciate it.

By knowing myself, I get to concentrate on the things I want to do. I don’t have to spend time pretending to have it all together.

For example, your garden may be neater than mine. Maybe you love gardening or maybe you got onto this having a gardener lark quicker than me. Either is ok.

Living life under your own terms

I love ageing. I am pro ageing and I’m living my life under my own terms. It has taken a lot of self-discovery and honesty about what I want from life. I have sought the help of mentors and coaches. But I now live from the inside out and not the outside in.

The side effect is the less I judge myself, the less I judge others. So by being nicer and more tolerant to myself, I have become a nicer more tolerant friend. I am more generous and giving – just don’t, whatever you do, ask me to share my gardener.

Are you living the life others want for you or the life you want for yourself?